Why Secure Men Champion Their Partners: The Real Flex on the tight end- I mean tail end- of the latest New Heights Podcast

 

I've gone somewhere I didn't think I would ever go willingly, and that is, to listen to a podcast hosted by men. But when I (and the rest of the world) heard that Taylor Swift stepped onto New Heights (the SPORTS podcast hosted by her boyfriend Travis Kelce and his brother in case you live under a rock) she didn’t just show up to plug her own work. She showed up in a space that’s his and for the first time ever she did a podcast. And what stood out to me wasn’t just the novelty of seeing the world’s [arguably] most famous person in a football podcast studio...it was the way Travis treated her presence.

Supportive. Proud. No underhanded jabs. No awkward teasing. Just absolute heart eyes, admiration, and respect for a woman who has her own empire. I listened intently as they talked about her mega wins to her sourdough bread making. Taylor is gorgeous and witty and successful and intelligent and yes, rich as fuck. They banter back and forth for a bit and then they  laugh amongst themselves and I heard Travis mutter "I love you" on the tail end of those giggles more than once.

I thought to myself: That’s the quiet magic of a secure man.

Because here’s the truth we don’t talk about enough: in a relationship where the woman is equally or even more successful financially, socially, or in personal accomplishment, it takes real security for a man to not only handle it, but to celebrate it. LOUDLY. 

(I once again use the disclaimer that I am a heterosexual woman who enjoys a male-female romantic dynamic and thus this is my point of view however I think this information is valuable in all types of relationships)

Why Championing Your Partner Is the Real Flex

The internet often talks about “power couples” like they’re defined by their combined bank accounts or media influence. But I think true power in a relationship comes from knowing that your partner’s wins are also your wins and feeling secure in that. I feel qualified to talk about this on my platform given my life and relationship experience.

To me, I observe and this means:

• Giving public and private credit without fear of being overshadowed or emasculated.
• Offering unconditional love without competition.
• Celebrating your partner's independence instead of resenting it.

It’s not about “letting her” succeed. It's about standing beside her when she does.

Yes, it’s fun to watch Taylor Swift pop up on what is otherwise a sports pod and see the internet go wild over her and Travis and for many of us it heals a part of our inner teenager that was scream singing "Should've Said No" in our purple childhood bedrooms. But beyond their unrelatable celebrity sparkle is a something worth noticing: this is what it looks like when two people can stand fully in their own light while cheering for the other. I'm sure it's not perfect, no relationship is. I would die to be a fly on the wall in their home and observe their behind closed doors interactions and dynamic. But what is obvious is the support and respect that exist between them.

Why This Matters

This business was proudly built on the pillars of female independence and if I'm being honest, straight up feminism. We are not man hating feminists but rather, the kind of feminists who believe in owning our ambition, our independence, and our voice, while also treasuring the stability and safety that the love of a good partner brings. We know we’re not always the easiest women to love. Not because we’re difficult, but because we’re full: full of drive, full of opinions, full of dreams. A little mouthy. And that’s exactly why having someone in your corner who roots for you, respects you, and is simply nice to you matters so much. Because at the end of the day, going to sleep beside someone who is kind, supportive, and proud to love you isn’t just comforting... it's liiiiiiterally the whole point. 

We are biologically programmed to mate for life and who you choose matters. They will either support you or sabotage you. Unfortunately, there is no grey area here, and I have learned that the hard way.

I speak from  my own experience when I say, if a man is threatened by his partner’s success, it plants a seed that will eventually grow into distance. If a man is mean to you for any reason and brushes it off as sarcasm or teasing and it makes you feel some type of way, this is unsupportive. Unsupportive behavior doesn’t always look like outright sabotage (although sometimes it does!); sometimes it’s quieter and more insidious. It’s the subtle lack of enthusiasm when you accomplish something great. The halfhearted “good job” followed by a change of subject. The eye roll when you talk about a new idea or goal. They're still happy to go on all the vacations you pay for though :) Over time, these moments send a clear message: your ambition is inconvenient to me.  And when that message repeats often enough, it erodes intimacy. I'm going to put it in a simple term y'all might understand.... [DRY....VAGINA.... LOADING]

Desire struggles to survive where there is resentment, belittlement, or  competition. Instead of a safe space to dream together, the relationship becomes a place where one partner feels the need to shrink and nothing kills attraction faster than feeling you have to make yourself smaller or act in a way that is inauthentic to be loved.

Whenever I hear a man genuinely praising his partner, my immediate reaction is the same every time — that’s hot. Plain and simple.

On the flip side, any time I hear a man talk about his partner like she’s a burden — “she’s so annoying,” or “here she goes again” with an eye roll — I instantly feel the ick. And it’s not just the comment itself. It’s what’s underneath it.

What I see there is a small man
A deeply insecure man
One who’s probably struggling with his own self worth, and instead of facing that, he projects it onto his partner. Because somewhere in his mind, her presence, her voice, her needs are just too much.  Too much for him.

And I always feel for the woman on the receiving end
Because when you strip away the jokes and sarcasm, what you see is someone being slowly diminished by a man who thinks love should come with conditions. Ew.

So much of what women are expected to be by partners, bosses, even strangers, is still deeply rooted in quiet, everyday misogyny. Be soft but not too emotional. Be ambitious but not threatening. Be confident but don’t talk too much. Get shit done but get it done in the house, not outside of the home. Don't accomplish too much out there.

Is it any wonder these men aren’t getting sex or intimacy? You’re literally grossing her out with your behavior. Lol.

 

Suffice to say, be more like Travis. See attached photo, rinse and repeat.